'Lo' Armistead

I HATE THE AUDITORS I HATE THE AUDITORS I HATE THE AUDITORS

Homies:

Vince Carver: What a king. An absolutely great guy. Never left me down once. Always there to have my back. We also go fishing on numerous occasions.

Horsemen: He's a genius. All of my plans basically run through this man at least once. Farmer boy or not, I bet he went to college in spirit. Point is, he made a Gun-wagon and I've been admiring him since. Great friend.

Pandora: They're a lot easier to talk to when you use Binary. Usually a major league asshole, but they really are a good person. I trust them like you would not believe.

Cpt. Rook: Every single time we see some stupid shit, we just stare each other and nod. I think that's a special kind of bond. To be able to just look at each other, and just know. Like, 'Damn. This is some bullshit'.

Beak: Words cannot express how much I love this little shit. And If I tried, I'd probably break the PDA's screen typing so fast. 

Ika: Words cannot express how much I love this little shit, but they can express how much I worry for them. I have this nagging feeling that they're a bit, misunderstood. I gave her a pair of clothes to go with some armor and she acted it was goddamn Christmas, and I got the last Transformers toy in the Walmart, DAY BEFORE. So...Yeah. I've taken up knitting in response. I'm gonna make her a Christmas sweater.

Gareth Adler: He speaks in tongues and I'm pretty sure he's British, but that doesnt seem to have too much of an effect on him. He's a really calm, well mannered guy who always has my back. And for that, I'm eternally thankful.

Dr Coomer: As annoying as this guy can be sometimes, he is without a doubt the smartest man I've ever encountered. He's made sense of things I couldn't make sense of. I really believe he's vital to understanding how we get home. That...and he really is a good friend sometimes.

John Greyman: As much of an annoying ASSHOLE this guy can be, he gave me a sweater once and I think that's good enough. He never really causes any lasting harm either. His insults are also very funny.

Peaceful Protestor: He follows "An order dedicated to the balance of Freedom, Discipline, and Community". At least, that's what he says. He shows a very real consideration for human life, as unknown as his ideology is to me. We bunked on the train, and he's a pretty swell guy. We just need to have a conversation about what 'Peaceful' means. 

Quinton McDowell: This guy's some sort of Worker, but to me hes alot more than that. He's given me books, leaflets, all sorts of information about human society that makes me feel like I know everything going on. 'The free development of each is the condition for the free development of all' is his motto. And...I can really get behind that.

Samantha: She's a really good friend. Its...I don't know, she's just always there to make me feel better when I feel down.

Milo Schatschnider: Me and him aren't really that different. I was...built for something, and he was made for something in almost the exact same way. I go fishing with him, I talk with him, he's become one of my best friends. I guess we just gotta figure out if we're bigger than the worst thing we've ever done.

Mason-G203: He's been laying low recently. I don't know where he's gone, but I hope its somewhere calm. He's gotta get a hold of his damn anger, and be a bit more like Buck.

Buck: Some hippie kid who levitate things with the 'Force' he calls it. I don't know much about magic, or the age of rock and roll, but what I do know is that he does not like killing. He's always there to help, and nothing else. He's been a good help to me, and that's what he finds important. He wants to go home just like everybody else. 

Packs: What an absolute unit. This dude is always ride or god damn die for me. Always down to do the sickest shit because he's just that bad-ass. I fuckin love him.

Kitsumi: She can be a little shit sometimes, but she really does have a good heart. That, and she's always down to kick somebodies ass if they so much as look at her friends wrong. Pretty fuckin rad.

Captain Ti...Tiava? Tiara?: Who fucking knows, dude. I'm also kind of concerned about the fact we are only receiving Captains. No Lieutenants, No Enlisted, its only Captains. Is this rank condemned to hell? Who knows. Point is, this is Captain Tiara. They got weird ears to start, and I dont think they approve of my Mullet. Nevertheless, they're smart. Very smart. Smart to the point where I don't know what they're saying, I kinda just nod along. She keeps calling me the groups 'De-facto' leader. And uh...I literally just want to day-drink, but I'm there to shoot the shit and discuss battle plans with her if that's her thing. Point is, they're cool. Pretty cool. Emphasis on Pretty. Though despite all my rage they scan everything. Everything. I mean EVERYTHING. They don't go five minutes without taking out their god damn gameboy and scanning something. "Oh, whats this?" They'll say. I'll tell them its a literal blade of Grass. "Oh, its Apectus Govidious consumus devastatus, green in col-" Its a fucking blade of grass holy shit. All in all, she's a real pain in the neck sometimes. But she's always ready to call me out on my bullshit, and wouldn't leave me behind. She keeps me humble. Whenever I, you know. Actually understand what she's saying.

DEFENDER: Holy fucking shit he's BLACK? Anyway, he's a great guy. He gave Beak an AR2 and let him shoot it. That was pretty nice of him. I'm gonna have to ask him where I can buy one of those things. Me, him and Vince like to Day-drink.

CASEY: Green bean. He beeps and boops and I'm pretty sure he loves flowers. He's a pretty big fucking hippie but god is he great. We're ro-bros. Sometimes I scare him on accident.

Ortiz: BAAAAADDDDD HOMBREEEEEES. ITS OVER FROM THE START. OUR ENEMIES STAND NO CHANCE. DOS AMIGOS TAKE ALLLLL THE WOMEN. In summary, I have never felt more related to a human in my life. We drifted an APC into another APC and shot a bunch of dudes without knowing who each other was, and we've been drinking buddies ever since. In the famous words of Spanish, "AIEEEEEE!"

Rico Hernandez: Speaking of Latin American criminals, the famous cuban waging terror upon my coast of Miami. Though no terror was given, only all our hats was stolen. Greatest sniper in the whole multiverse.

Meatball: As horrifying and grotesque as he is, he's a rather nice clump of flesh. If he would stop trying to take my FUCKING HAT

Hybrid: Greatest foot-soldier to mankind. Or, whatever he is. As great of a soldier as he is, I think of him as a bit more than that. He's more than a monster. He's a good, dependable, reliable friend. I'm gonna grill for him one day. What kind of alien doesn't like hamburgers?

The Roomba: Most would describe them as a roomba with a knife taped to them, but I know better. They have told me such wonderful things, that...I shouldn't be ashamed of the machine that I am. That I was chosen to inhibit metal and wires underneath my skin by god. I kinow he's telling the truth. I look at myself a little better now, knowing that Jesus Christ chose me to be a machine. Most people describe me as the 'De-Facto' leader, but he has shown me the only man to kneel to. Our lord and Saviour, Terry Davis.

Pia: The bug man. The hiver, if you will. He's alot like Casey in the fact that you could not fit more optimism and kindness in them if you tried. Always there to cheer you up, and always happy to help.

Bishop: Really needs to read up on the concept of "Minding your own business". Although I'm never one to refuse to answer any questions, they are curious about...everything. Sometimes about things I dont wanna talk about. Though, I cant really blame them. Its what they want, and who am I to keep them in the dark about important things? Plus, they seem to be functioning as a sort of mini therapist for some people. As great as they are, I'll stick to my beer.

Scout Cook: I dont know how the hell that mean keeps his hair styled like that. We haven't been to any hairdressers, no traders sell hair gel, it just stays that style. Its almost as confusing as the Monolith itself. Regardless, Scout is a good guy. Really good guy. He's just an all around helpful individual. He's been nothing but nice to me, and that kindness is extended to almost all that I've seen. I appreciate the help that he offers.